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At REACH ADHD, we believe every family has unique strengths and that challenges can be opportunities for growth. Managing screen time for children can often feel like a battleground, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can turn these moments into valuable learning experiences. Inspired by Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, we offer a compassionate approach to help you navigate screen time limits with empathy and effectiveness.
Embrace the Mindset Shift: “Kids Do Well If They Can”
Dr. Greene’s philosophy encourages us to move away from the belief that kids will do well if they simply want to. Instead, understand that if they’re struggling, it’s often due to unsolved problems and lagging skills, not a lack of motivation. By adopting this mindset, you focus on solving problems and building skills, rather than just modifying behavior.
The CPS Model: A Three-Step Guide
The CPS model provides a structured yet flexible approach to addressing challenges like screen time. Here’s how you can use it to turn screen time stress into an opportunity for connection and problem-solving.
Step 1: The Empathy Step
Start by understanding where your child’s behavior is coming from. Engage in a conversation to uncover their perspective and feelings about the situation.
Example:
Parent: “I’ve noticed you’re having difficulty getting off the video game after the 90-minute limit. What’s going on?”
Through this empathetic inquiry, you might discover that your child is struggling to leave the game because they don’t want to disappoint friends or miss out on important moments in their game.
Step 2: Define the Adult Concern
Next, clarify how the behavior impacts the family. Express your concerns in a way that highlights the broader implications, focusing on practical outcomes rather than just the behavior itself.
Example:
Parent: “My concern is that if you don’t get off the game, you’ll have less time for your homework. Since you’re already having difficulty completing your assignments, I want to ensure your grades align with your aspirations.”
This step helps both you and your child see how the behavior affects their overall responsibilities and goals.
Step 3: The Invitation
Collaborate on finding a realistic solution that addresses both your concerns and your child’s needs. Ensure that the solution is achievable for both parties and meets everyone’s needs.
Example:
Parent: “I wonder if we can find a way to ensure you’re not being rude to your friends by ending the game early and also have enough time to get your homework done. Do you have any ideas?”
One possible solution might be for your child to start playing earlier and agree not to begin a new game if it won’t be finished before the time limit. This way, they can balance their social interactions with their academic responsibilities.
Key Takeaway for Parents
Transforming screen time challenges into opportunities for growth involves empathy, clear communication, collaboration, and practical solutions. By using these four questions—understanding the root cause, identifying the impact, brainstorming solutions, and ensuring realistic implementation—you can create a supportive environment that fosters resilience and connection.
At REACH ADHD, we are here to support every family’s journey toward thriving together. Remember, each challenge is an opportunity to build stronger relationships and help your child develop essential skills. Embrace these strategies with compassion, and watch as screen time stress turns into a pathway for growth and understanding.
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